Advice for young ladies

My friend Sandra and have decided to start a blog in Spanish for Christian yound ladies. If you have any advice that would transcend cultures, please share. I am looking towards girls like Courtney and Olivia and Crystal before she was married.

Also if you know any missionaries in Spanish speaking countries that might have websites in Spanish, please share. I am looking for something like Momof 9's in Spanish.
Thanks
Rhonda

Wallowing in Self-pity makes you do dumb things

Our sending pastor has this great sermon entitled "Sin makes you stupid" That is one of the truest truths I've ever heard. Self-pity is a sin, too. And it makes you just as stupid as any other sin.

Let's think about Sarah.
Wonderful, beautiful, Sarah. She was so great, she got mentioned twice in the New Testament. Once in Hebrews and once in 1 Peter. But she got bogged down in self-pity when she could not conceive a child. This led to an incredible lapse in judgement (stupid) She decided to encourage Abraham to take a concubine in order to have a child. You might try to tell me that this was a common occurence and you might be right. But it was still wrong and stupid and made her feel worse than she did before! I am sure that not being able to have a child is sad, but how much more when you give your hubby over to someone else, who then has a kid right under your nose! That's gotta hurt! Just look at Anna and Elcanah in 1 Samuel.


Let's think about David
David the Great, a man after God's own heart. Yeah, and stupid, too. This was the guy who as a teenager was a giant in the Lord. He faced the Philistine and killed him while the men of Israel cowered. There are so many wonderful things to write about David. Yet, look at this incredibly stupid thing he does because of self-pity. After he spares Saul's life yet again, Saul tells him that he gives up and he won't continue to try to kill David. Then David turns around and starts whining that he's probably going to die at the hand of Saul. Boo hoo. I'd be better off if I went and dwelt with the Philistines.
The PHILISTINES!!!!!! David has killed hundreds of the idolatrous Philistines. And now, he's off to live with them! ARRRRHGH!!!!!!


Self-pity has many unpleasant consequences. Stupidity is one of them.

Be thankful. Have a gratitude attitude. Self-pity will flee away.

R

The Pit of Self-pity

In Ladies Bible study, we have been studying self-pity. What a trap! What an insult to God!
And so much of our view of ourselves is relative anyway. Let me explain. I live in a small, poor town. The average income here is 200 dollars a month. Compared to most of them, I am rich. I own a nice, 4 bedroom, two bathroom home. I have a dishwasher and a microwave. We have a van.

Now, when we return to the US, we are poor. If we sold our house in Chile for full price, it wouldn't be enough for a down payment for a house in California. Our van is from 1988. At our income level, we probably qualify for food stamps. My furniture is old (not nice antique old, just old!), our clothes are old. I buy drug-store make-up. Compared to most we see, we are pitifully poor. And I am definitely not complaining.

Don't you see? Its all relative! I thank God for all the situations He puts us in. I live both ways.
Here in Chile, just because I am an American, I am automatically placed in the upper-middle class. In America, well, I am glad we don't have "classes" in America!

What I have or don't have should not make me happy. God is my joy, wherever I am.

R


more to come on self pity

My blog cloud

This is my blog. I like it.

How do you read the Bible?

Do you read God's Word everyday? Have you ever struggled with faithful reading? Tell me about how your overcame and what and how you are reading now.

Thanks
R

My reading Bible

I have several Bibles, English, Spanish, Bilingual. My Church-going Bible and my everyday, reading Bible.
I was saved as a child, but was a grown-up when I started disciplined, daily reading. This is the Bible that helped me. It is a little worn, but its great! It gives you daily readings in OT, NT, Psalms and Proverbs. You read the whole Bible in a year, and Psalms and Proverbs twice. It takes between 10-15 minutes daily.

If you need help with organized reading, this could be for YOU!
It certainly is for me!

R

I have a confession....

As you know, I am a Christian, like Mrs. B, of the Independant, Fundamental Baptist variety. We try to live a life separated for God.
I say all that as an introduction to one of my favorite marriage books. I have only a handful of secular books and this is one of them! Here it is...........the name of the book is........Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. There. I said it. I feel much better now! Several years ago that book was a best-seller. I didn't read it then. I found a hardbacked copy for 2 bucks at a library and I bought it.

John Gray is not a Christian. However he has stumbled across some priciples that are actually biblical. The best part of the book for me was that he gives very practical application of these principles!

Here's a sample quote I found helpful: Men are like Rubber bands.

Why Men Pull Away When Women Get Close
For many women, a man tends to pull away precisely at the time when she wants to talk. This occurs for two reasons

1. A woman will unconsciously sense when a man is pulling away and precisely at those times she will attempt to reestablish their intimate connection and say “Let’s talk.” As he continues to pull away, she mistakenly concludes that he doesn’t want to talk or that he doesn’t care for her

2. When a woman opens up and shares deeper and more intimate feelings it may actually trigger a man’s need to pull away. A man can only handle so much intimacy before his alarm bells go off, saying it is time to find balance by pulling away. At the most intimate moments a man may suddenly automatically switch to feeling his need for autonomy and pull away.




Learning this concept alone was worth a fortune to me!

More to come!


R

Do you know?

Do you know about the legality of posting something out of a book? I'd like to post a few paragraphs, but I don't want to get into trouble!
Thanks!
R

One of my favorite wedding pictures

Mrs. Blythe posted a picture of her wedding dress, so I thought I would too. I love wedding photos!!!!!

People always ask me what Neil was saying to me. I can't remember! So I imagine that it was something terribly romantic!

R

Why does God.......????

A few posts back, we got on to the subject of infertility and the pain families go through who cannot have children. We also discussed the stupid things people say. Some people like me say stupid things just because I am trying to make conversation and I don't stop to think about what I am saying. Other people say stupid mean things and they misrepresent God at the same time.

Some people think and say that bad things happen to Christians as punishment for something they did. This is never true. Romans 8:1 says "There is therefore now NO condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit" If God kept me from having children because of some sin, that would be condemnation.

We have a dear pastor friend whose two daughters have died. Their two remaining sons have a rare genetic condition called leukodystrophy and will die before they reach adulthood. This is a devastating blow to any family. Two years ago this pastor was unjustly accused of having an affair. When my friend asked the accusers what proof they had they said "Well, why do you think their girls died?" How stupid and mean is that?

God allows things in my life that are good for me, whether I think they are good or not. I also have faith that whatever horrible thing I may face on this earth is in no way comparable to Heaven. God is simply preparing me for His presence. If He didn''t keep His own Son from suffering, what can we expect?

Now, don't get me wrong. Sin has its consequences. Always. But they are consequences, not divine punishment.

My dear Sisters, I am so sorry for whatever is causing you pain. Please remember that God is with you in your suffering and is always there to dry your tears. Please forgive our stupid and thoughtless comments.

R

Home Blessing Hour

When I first visited Flylady and I saw "Weekly Homeblessing Hour", I thought she was talking about family devotions!
Anyway, I soon understood what it was. But as many in the Ministry, Monday is Daddy's Day Off. Not exactly the best time to roll up your sleeves and get to work. No, Monday is the days to snuggle in bed with the kids and NOT answer the doorbell or the phone.
So, no Home Blessing for me on Monday. Today is Tuesday, Seminary day. Today DH takes group to our Seminary, over one hour away from 7 pm to 12.30 am. As I sit here reading blogs to my heart's content, I had an epiphany. Why not dedicate this time to Home Blessing? For some silly reason I like doing housework at night. I like going to bed with a clean house.
I had previously declared that I didn't have to do any work on Tuesday night, because I have already had a full day. Regular house and schoolwork plus Ladies Bible Study. So what?
Well, I'm off to clean the bathroom! But I'll be back in 20, just to see if there is soemthing new!
God bless,
R

Here's me and my Apron!

Here's me and my apron! Notice the stains? Yeah! Those stains are NOT on my clothes!
Tomorrow I'll take a picture of my new red gingham apron!

Three cheers for the come-back of the apron!

Prairie Muffins, Unite!
R

Single Gals

I had a really good talk with my friend Sandra last night. Sandra is 22, studying (as per her parents desire) to be a teacher. I have been trying to teach Sandra what God intends for women. I know that God created us to be help meets. But what about in the mean time? There are no really good Christian men around here and even if there were, we do not just go around looking for a husband. So, what is she created for now? I believe that it is really necessary to bloom where you are planted. God wants her single now. So it must be possible to live a full, meaningful, joyful life now. She agrees, but says that its the comments from other people that make her feel bad. Comments like "When are you getting married" and "What about so-and-so?, You could marry him" She says that sometimes she feels like she's missing out on something great, and that maybe she had better "settle" for whoever is available.

1. Never settle. If you don't feel honored and thrilled to marry him, then don't.
2. Lets watch what we say and how we tease.

I told her that you can be a totally fulfilled single person.
If you weren't happy single, you might not be happy just because you got married.
I say this because I really intended to stay single a while. I was happy. I was going to go to Bible school, and if there was some guy left after the three years, well, I'd probably marry him. The Lord (and Neil)had other plans and I got married at 20.

I am learning to be more careful about my words so as not to make others feel "less"

I am trying to help "my girls" to know that God wants them to thrive no matter what their status in life is now. Single, married, abandoned, widowed, orphaned, with kids or without.

God wants us to be joyful, and useful to Him, in every season of life.

I am glad that God doesn't expect us all to be exactly the same. He puts us in different places for different reasons and spending time in doubt or self pity are a waste. I can be happy anywhere!
Love in Christ,
Rhonda

Update on Deaf ministry

We have been working hard learning Chilean sign language. Learning a new language is hard. You have to start out talking like a child.

We had a super Wednesday night service. Our two deaf men gave their salvation testimony. It was amazing. The pastor that is helping us told us that not once in 18 years of ministry has he ever heard such a clear salvation testimony. We are encouraged. The younger of the two men, who is 24, really wants to reach other deaf. We believe that he might become the first deaf pastor here in Chile.

please pray for Marcos, Miguel, Ruperto and Amada

God bless,
Rhonda

I want to, but don't have time!

We are working hard to prepare a ministry for the deaf. I have always been interested in working with the deaf, but it has become a necessity more than just a desire. So, we are really, really busy, please pray for this ministry.

I want to do some posts about our speech and our conversation, but its going to have to wait. Keep on blogging, because I love to read new things, even if I don't have the time to write.

In Christian love,
Rhonda

Open Mouth, insert Foot

How do you recover from saying the most stupid things? We went to a little girl's birthday party, and while the young ones were having fun, the grown-ups were talking. We started talking about how to recover when you've said something incredibly offensive, unknowingly. How to talk to a single mother, to encourage her and not offend. How to talk to a lady who wants children but cannot conceive. How to comfort someone who is grieving without sounding too cliché.
I have no real idea.
Some say about the childless, don't talk about your baby, others say do talk about your baby, but not too much.

All I can say is this. I (and most people I know) really and truly do not wish to cause pain or offend. So, if I say anything offensive, please do not take offense. If you'd like, let me know how you feel and how I can best communicate with you. Other ladies in your position might not feel the same way.

I believe that a wise woman knows what to say and when to shut up. And when I get wise, I'll let you know!

R

I found it!

After reading several references to it, I finally read the Prairie Muffin Manifesto. Yep, that's me, or better, what I aspire to be. So when asked what I want to be when I grow up, I now know to say, "a Prairie Muffin" (some think I'm already grown up at 33 with a hubby and two kids, but I know better!)

I have a young lady in my Church whom I am trying to mentor. She truly wants to please God in all but it is so difficult when you feel like you're the only one. And here where we are, she is the only one! So before she get all "Elijah" on me, I'm going to let her know that she's not the only one, God has godly servant-girls just like her, wanting God's best. Willing to wait, willing to be different.

Won't Heaven be grand? Being in the presence of Jesus, praising Him. And then, greeting old friends I've never met.

God bless, my friends!
R

I am having so much fun!

Since I discovered Blogland, I have been having a blast! It started with Hillbilly Housewife, and then Candy, and then............ Anyway, what I have received is invaluable. I have found fellowship. Now don't get me wrong. I know that there is a great deal of danger spending too much time on the computer. However my life has been improving. I see what I would like to become. My house is neater and hopefully more inviting. I have a long way to go because I am not artistic at all. But I have enjoyed so many beautiful blogs that I am encouraged to try harder. Thank you all with a special thanks to Susan, Mrs.B, and Mrs. Wilt. You three are tremendous encouragers! Your friendly godliness is contagious.
God bless
Rhonda

Why I don't usually like marriage books

I love books. I've read as many as possible. And since before I was married , I read as many books on the subject as I could. Truth be told, almost 13 years after Neil and I married, I am not too fond of marriage books. Even good, Biblical ones. Here's why:
Most marriage books are written for the couple. That means the both of you have to want to read the same book. You have to discuss the book. You have to be on the same wave length about what is good or not so good about your marriage. But in my observations on marriages, mine and other's, rarely are the couples thinking the same things at the same time. If they were, they wouldn't need a marriage book!
Here's the biggest problem for me. When I read in a book that "she needs to do this, and he needs to do that", that's great, except for the fact that I'm the only one reading the book. I say I'll do my part, but then I begin to resent that fact that I'm trying to make things better, and he doesn't even seem to care. I feel alone in my desire maintain a good marriage. This is definitely Stinkin' Thinkin'. I get all worked up at what he isn't doing or thinking or saying, and he has no clue why I'm upset! That is totally unfair to the men.

Now, this is also why I like Created to be his Help Meet and The Power of a Praying Wife. They tell us what a woman can do on her own, to improve or repair a marriage. Stormie Omartian is a blessing to me. She carefully tells her story, without disrespecting her husband. And yet manages to share her struggles with a difficult man. She knows how to make a marriage better, even if the efforts are one-sided. Especially if the efforts are one-sided. Remember, God loved us even though we were his enemies.

If you have a favorite marriage book, let me know!

R

I did it!

I could not believe that I could not figure out how to do "links". The template page is greek to me. But I am learning. You know what they say, "If at first you don't succeed, READ THE INSTRCTIONS CAREFULLY!"

I would still like to change several things to make my blog more feminine, but I'm off to a good start!

Blessings,
Rhonda

One Hour

A line just caught my eye over at Susan's. The One Hour Challenge. My house was in good shape last night, but with DH's arrival this morning, schooling and Ladies Bible study, the house is a mess. DH just took off for Seminario with about 10 students. He'll be back around 12:30 a.m.

So, I've decided to take the challenge and get this mess cleaned up.


On another note, DH got back this morning from a trip to Santiago with 2 deaf men. Neil is not fluent with sign language, but he learned that one of these 2 men is saved and the other one opened his heart to God this weekend. This man is 40 years old, and up until this year, has had no language at all. His mother told me how he came home and told her through his primitive sign language how he opened up his heart to God and let Him come in. Neil is overwhelmed with emotion at Miguel's salvation.

Please pray for the deaf here in Lanco.

R

Update:
One hour has passed. Eileen and I worked steady and the house looks good. Not great, but peaceful. Ronnie did schoolwork and did pretty good.
When you have no way to have a set schedule, you work when you can.
All our days are different, and can change at any time. Also, when my Command Man DH needs me to help, I stop whatever and help. It is not an easy thing when DH is in and out of the house all day. I kind of envy you gals whose DH works regular hours and comes home at specific times. Oh well, this is my calling.
So, the one hour challenge is good. Thanks for the idea.

Femininity

I have only recently discovered my niche in Blogland. Christian Homemakers. I belong here!!!!
One issue that comes up regularly is femininity. There is a lot said about it. Clothing comes into play. But, as I just read at Homeliving Helper, there is more to it than clothes.

I live in a Latin American country. Women in general are more feminine here than in the US. The culture here is more conducive to femininity. Unfortunately, its more sensuality than femininity.

But when I return the US, I am shocked by what I see. Women that look like men. Not only by their clothes and haircuts, but its seems that their faces have taken on a rugged look. They sit like men. They walk like men. They have a "I could lift a truck" look on their faces. Their language is like, well, I don't know exactly what its like. I hate profanity and vulgarity. Its like a slap in the face. And the men are more and more sissified, polished, "pretty".

I think that we need to continue to strive for feminine dress, speech, walk and "air". We are going against the current. Our society is very unisex. Keep up the good work, Ladies!

R

Why I like Flylady

I was over at Ladies Against Feminism the other day. That is a really great site. I truly enjoy it. Some nice gal over there wrote a "Friendly critique" of Flylady. I must admit that I agreed with most of it. I feel that Flylady knows some about God, but not enough to know that Jesus Christ is necessary in our lives, not just "God". I truly hope that someone can one day witness to her and tell her the Good News of Salvation through Jesus Christ.

I am also totally against the "Finally loving yourself" mantra, per se. I do realize the need for a godly woman to take good care of herself so that she is able to be a help meet and a mother that's not totally exhausted and worn out.

I am also against any mention of fung shui.


HOWEVER, I like just about everything else about Flylady!!! I was not in total CHAOS, but I felt like an absolute failure at housekeeping. What's more, I disliked it. I hated making the bed. I really hated washing the dishes. I'll be totally honest, I am awed when I see women who enjoy the work. Born-organized people annoy me, more than inspire me. I am concerned about gals who live on a minute to minute schedule. Sour grapes? Maybe.

But Flylady, that I can do. Simple, easy instructions. Attainable goals. Happy Husband. Calm children. OK, we're still working on that part.

What dear Flylady might not know is this. Homemaking is Godly. Homemaking with a smile and a good attitude is godliness and the road to great help meet-ness.

I feel that God sent Flylady just for me. Once a become a great homemaker, I might just start sewing! Who knows?

I would give "Sink Reflections" to a bride, along with "Created to be his help meet"

So, Flylady might not be for you, but thats OK, becuase God sent her for me!
R

What I read today

Today my Bible reading was at the end of Judges. Judges to me, is a terribly depressing book. There was no order, no law. Everybody did what was right in their own eyes. In fact, I'll bet that the phrase "don't be so judgemental" was very common.

The saddest thing to me, however, is that I feel like we are living in times just like during Judges. Everybody is doing what they think is best. There are a bajillion different religious groups and sub-groups. Churches are filled with hypocracy. Religion is being rejected by most, and the occult is more popular and socially accepted than ever.

The worst part is this: Believers now have the indwelling Holy Spirit. When you believe, the Holy Spirit dwells within you. Not the case during the times of the Judges. We have the written Word and the Spirit to teach us and things are still pretty bad.

Of course God is still there and is still working, just read Ruth.

Lord, let me be like Ruth.

Can you help?

Can anyone around here explain in a very easy way how to add things like favorite links and blogs and whatever lists and photos you gals put on your blog?

I need Blogger for Dummies, but don't know where to buy it!

Thanks
R

Busy weekend

When you are in the ministry, weekends are busy!!!! Dh is headed to Santiago with 2 deaf men to see the deaf ministry in Santiago, 10 hours away.
Meanwhile, I'm at home with the kids, and kid-sitting 3 MKs for the weekend. AND I will be hosting the Pastor who is filling my DH's pulpit, and his family. Not to mention all the regular weekend Church work. I think I'm hanging around cyberspace just to avoid all the work I need to do!

Hospitalilty. What a nice word! And of course, my DH, as a pastor, should be given to it. But everyone knows that hospitality basically lies with the wife. That would be me. Neil loves to have company, the more the merrier. I am a wanna-be loner. Let me tell you that there is not much room in God's work for a loner!!

So, I'm off to change sheets and clean the guest bathroom (thank you, God, becuase I have a guest bathroom) mop floors and cook food.

Also thanks to Rebekah Anast for some good ideas in this month's NGJ newsletter about encouarging my kids to get along without fighting. So far, so good.

Most likely I will not have time to hang out in Blogland.

God bless
R

Book review

It would seem that the common denominator among us all is a love of reading. I see that those who have stopped by this blog have read all the books that I have. So I believe I can make a suggestion that would be a blessing to you.

First we have Coffee is a wonderful, autobiografical book about a Norwegian Baptist pastor and his family, written by his daughter, Margaret. If you are a Mama, you'll appreciate and learn from Margaret's Mama.

I am rather spoiled. I like to learn things, but in a fun way. Throughout this book there are tremendous lessons to be learned, while at the same time, great laughs.

You can also buy this book on Ebay.
If you read it, let me know what you thought!

Rhonda