Monday, November 17, 2008

Mommy Musings

I guess since I have a new baby, it makes sense to blog about it. I don't think I've done a series, but I have been thinking a lot about mothering, especially during the time-outs for nursing, so I've got a few things to say.

Getting Real and learing to love.
I am going to try to be honest here. This may make you think less of me, but at least it will be the truth. I also think that it may encourage others to know that not every other mom is the perfect mother, and that we can all strive to be better at this sacred calling.
Confession: I am not a Baby Person. I do not, generally speaking, like babies. (Gasp! The Horror! How can she say that!!!!) Do you know that God knew that there would be women
who would have babies that would not be Baby People? Sure! Why else would he have written the Titus 2 command for the older women to teach the younger women to love the children? NOTE: I LOVE MY CHILDREN, but I had to learn to love babies!
Do you love babies? Great! Then you need to learn to spot out young ladies who need to learn this, and share your joy with them. Mentor an over-whelmed new mommy. Help her see past the tiredness and crying and see the joy. Also, many new mothers need to learn motherhood skills. The reason that they are so frustrated may be because the do not possess the skills needed to be competent mommies. I my own case, I only had one sister, born 4 years after me. Mother always wanted more babies, but the Lord said No. So, I grew up, never having the opportunity to care for a baby. I lived in Chile,where nobody babysat, and those who needed a babysitter, usually had a maid to do it. Many young women today grow up never having cared for a baby.
I was totally without experience in the Baby department, and it showed. May God bless all first-borns, who live through their mother's inexperience! I made a lot of mistakes and I had to repent of many bad attitudes. I want to share something I read this morning. I didn't comment there, but decided to tackle this here. Yes, we are all appalled at this mommy's lousy attitude. Yes, she is wrong. But let's not crucify her. Here is a woman (and a baby) in desperate need of some Titus 2 tough love. She is trying to find justification for her bad attitude, but what she needs is some help and loving. Also, she doesn't need the guilt trip. You know, the women who have a dozen kids and never ever dreamed of leaving any of them not for one second! They never wanted to go to a retreat alone, or even to the salon. This is not what that poor, foolish woman needs. Mostly what she needs is some godly examples. Maybe you can invite this woman or others like her over for tea or whatever. You can dote on her precious baby, and maybe she can start to see her child through different eyes. I don't know. Maybe you can offer to pray with her. Ask her if she has any needs. Ask her if she is getting enough rest. Ask her if you may offer her some advice. If she says no, thank you, then let it go, you tried. But maybe, she'll just break down in tears and you'll be able to share and help.

Now, almost 13 years after my first baby, and 9 years after my second, God gives me a third chance to do it right. Things are different now, I am different now. Had I known then what I know now, I'd probably have had more babies!


Jungle Mom said...

I love the brand new babies. Then, I put up with them until they begin to start jabbering. I LOVED my babies, but did not always enjoy them.
Now grand babies...thats different!

Rhonda in Chile said...

My Mom always said that there were 3 types of people in the world, men, women, and pregnant women. To which I add a fourth, Grandmas! You grandmas are in a class all your own!

Holly said...

I LOOOVE babies and the sleeplessnes and crying was not a big deal to me. However, about 18 months to 3 1/2, well that has it's tough moments and I find it very tiring. So, I actually relate to the feeling, "Calgon, take me away!" Remember that old commercial?
Anyway, I read the post on the other blog and there's just not enough context for some people to say (on the other blog) what they're saying about this. The timeframe is a little vague too--Is this an overnighter or just a couple hours? The wrongness in my eyes would largely be tied to what she is doing to hubby or baby in order to have her way, and how is she spending her time away. As a very general rule, how do people here feel about the notion of a mommy getting some "fresh air" now and then? I have a standing date once a month for a church ladies event. My husband really supports this and seems to realize this is good for my spirit. . . and I agree.

Rhonda in Chile said...

I think that there are those who think that if a mama wants some "time off" she must be selfish and have a bad attitude.

I sure needed some time off, but I also needed an attitude adjustment!
I still feel that a break makes me a better mom.

Its a wise man who gives his wife a break now and again. You and I are blessed!