I guess since I have a new baby, it makes sense to blog about it. I don't think I've done a series, but I have been thinking a lot about mothering, especially during the time-outs for nursing, so I've got a few things to say.
Getting Real and learing to love.
I am going to try to be honest here. This may make you think less of me, but at least it will be the truth. I also think that it may encourage others to know that not every other mom is the perfect mother, and that we can all strive to be better at this sacred calling.
Confession: I am not a Baby Person. I do not, generally speaking, like babies. (Gasp! The Horror! How can she say that!!!!) Do you know that God knew that there would be women
who would have babies that would not be Baby People? Sure! Why else would he have written the Titus 2 command for the older women to teach the younger women to love the children? NOTE: I LOVE MY CHILDREN, but I had to learn to love babies!
Do you love babies? Great! Then you need to learn to spot out young ladies who need to learn this, and share your joy with them. Mentor an over-whelmed new mommy. Help her see past the tiredness and crying and see the joy. Also, many new mothers need to learn motherhood skills. The reason that they are so frustrated may be because the do not possess the skills needed to be competent mommies. I my own case, I only had one sister, born 4 years after me. Mother always wanted more babies, but the Lord said No. So, I grew up, never having the opportunity to care for a baby. I lived in Chile,where nobody babysat, and those who needed a babysitter, usually had a maid to do it. Many young women today grow up never having cared for a baby.
I was totally without experience in the Baby department, and it showed. May God bless all first-borns, who live through their mother's inexperience! I made a lot of mistakes and I had to repent of many bad attitudes. I want to share something I read this morning. I didn't comment there, but decided to tackle this here. Yes, we are all appalled at this mommy's lousy attitude. Yes, she is wrong. But let's not crucify her. Here is a woman (and a baby) in desperate need of some Titus 2 tough love. She is trying to find justification for her bad attitude, but what she needs is some help and loving. Also, she doesn't need the guilt trip. You know, the women who have a dozen kids and never ever dreamed of leaving any of them not for one second! They never wanted to go to a retreat alone, or even to the salon. This is not what that poor, foolish woman needs. Mostly what she needs is some godly examples. Maybe you can invite this woman or others like her over for tea or whatever. You can dote on her precious baby, and maybe she can start to see her child through different eyes. I don't know. Maybe you can offer to pray with her. Ask her if she has any needs. Ask her if she is getting enough rest. Ask her if you may offer her some advice. If she says no, thank you, then let it go, you tried. But maybe, she'll just break down in tears and you'll be able to share and help.
Now, almost 13 years after my first baby, and 9 years after my second, God gives me a third chance to do it right. Things are different now, I am different now. Had I known then what I know now, I'd probably have had more babies!
4 months ago