Friday, April 21, 2006

Created to be his Helpmeet

In all my surfings on the Web, a terrible waste of time, I know, I realize that many of our sisters in Christ have read this book. It would seem that either you love it or you hate it.
I loved it! Let me tell you why.

First of all, being married to a Command Man is no easy matter. Being a Command Woman myself makes it even worse. It seems that somewhere along the way, some women whose husbands were in the ministry, were taught a unique way of being a helpmeet. They were taught to prod and nag, (called “reminding”) so long as the job got done. They were being his helpmeet. They told their husbands what they thought of his sermon, not the contents, but the style, grammar, etc. They also let him know quite firmly when they disagreed with his doctrine or convictions. They felt that this was their duty. Now I am not saying that we cannot disagree, or tell him that we disagree, but we can say that it all has to do with your tone.

Debi Pearl had me pegged. I felt convicted throughout the whole book. Things have changed and are changing still. DH likes the changes!

Now, I know that the book is not inspired, but it helped me. You may need something entirely different. You’re probably not the I-know-more-about-the-Bible-than-you-do kind of gal. I trying to get that “You’re doing it wrong” look off my face. This is a real chore for someone as opinionated as myself!

There you have it….me in all my “glory”


Susan said...

I've read the book, and I love it more than I hate it. How's that for diplomacy? LOL I am married to a Mr. Steady with some tendencies toward Mr. Command. I am fairly submissive, but reading CTBHHM showed me that I wasn't nearly as submissive as I thought I was. I want to go back through the chapters and really study the things at the end of them, the verses and word studies. Thanks for being so transparent!

Mrs.B. said...


I found your blog through Susan's at By Grace.

I really liked the book too! I am married to a cross between Mr. Command and Mr. Visionary.

I, too, felt convicted throughout the whole book. I want to go back and reread it and actually study the things at the end of the chapters.(Like Susan just said)

Happymama said...

I'm not married to a preacher and I haven't read the book you mentioned, but I have read A Wife's Purpose by Cindy Schapp. It's a great book for a woman whose husband is in or is entering the ministry. Even though I am not in that category, I found it very helpful in establishing my role as a godly wife and helpmeet which is a subject near and dear to my heart.
BTW, I found your blog on By Grace. That's Susan's blog.

Bethanie said...

The book changed our relationsip in a way I didn't know was possible. I was brought up under the same roof as a command woman and a terribly passive steady man. I married a Mr. Visionary. The first several years of our marriage was a nightmare. After reading CTBHHM everything just made sense. Now we are in love because I understand him better, and I understand my role.

Shellie said...

Hi. I found your blog and I think that our families have met. I believe we met you at Bayou Drive Baptist Church's missions conference in 1999 or 2000 (somewhere around there). We are missionaries to Scotland and we have been on the field for 4 years now.

Rhonda said...

Hello, Susan, Mrs.B, Happymama, Bethanie and Shellie!

God bless you all. Susan, I don't know you personally, but I have been to your sending Church in FW.

Shellie, yes, we were there at Bayou Drive for their missions conference. So glad to hear that you are on the field. Do you know the Kirklands? They are in Scoltland.
I have been without my computer for several days, but I back!