Tuesday, June 27, 2006


I have several people in my life who are chronic complainers. Its getting so bad that I have a hard time being around them. Isn't that awful? A preacher's wife, not wanting to be around people? A child of God avoiding her Christian siblings? I try different approaches. I try sympathizing. That seems to make it worse, and they start seeking me out to cry on my shoulder. I try to counter their complaints with Scripture, but they only whine more and act like I have no sympathy for them.

Here's what I believe. We've all got problems. We all have big problems. Yours are just as big, bad, sad etc. as mine. They are a part of life that God allows for our good. Complaining shows just how little I trust my Heavenly Father to look after me. As I complain, I am also usually trying to make my suffering just a little worse than yours. And of course, God must be deaf and blind. Can't He see my troubles? doesn't He care?

Some people, IMHO, feel invisible if they are not pitied by one and all for their suffering.

"Count your blessings" may seem like a cliché, but its absolute truth, given by God.
Thankfulness gives health, even thankfulness for less-than-perfect circumstances.
Complaining leads to depression and insomnia and quite a few other unpleasant symptoms, which leads to more complaining! And as dear Flylady says, nobody likes a martyr!

Thank you Lord, for everthing! For loving me even though I am less than perfect. Thank you for my house and van. Thank you for the Preacher and our kids. Thank you for my computer and my broadband connection. Thank you for the nice people who brought me some Dr. Pepper and See's candy! Thank you for my blogsisters.

See how much fun thankfulness is?


Mrs.B. said...

I so agree with you Rhonda! I'm always perplexed about how to handle these types of people.

Tori said...

This is good, and really we all do a bit of complaining sometimes. It's really about how to deal with these folks. I can deal with myself but dealing with others is the thing. When you find the answer, make sure to post it! *Ü*

Oh yea by the way, I love Dr. Pepper!!!

Michelle said...

I feel sorry for your situation. I tend to avoid.
I read Dr. Laura's book on "Bad Childhood, Good Life" and it spoke how some people use complaining as part of thier personality. So it is hard to let go, because without what there complaining about what would they have? Weird huh?!

Anonymous said...

Well said Rhonda. I have learned a lot from my Nan. She is of the 'pull-yourself-together' school of thought. I remember staying at her house when I was younger. I had fallen out of a tree and hurt my leg. As I lay in bed I wanted some sympathy so I started to cry (it wasn't hurting that bad) but she quite unsympathetically told me to shush because I was keeping everyone awake! And I did shush pretty quick and I learned a lesson that no-one respects a pity-seeker. If I had been genuinley hurt she would have tended to my needs but as I was just after a bit of attention I was ignored and I was a little bit wiser as a result.

We who have Jesus must rememer that we will have trouble in this world - "BUT BE OF GOOD CHEER for I have overcome the world" (paraphrase of Jesus' words).

Thanks for this great reminder Rhonda, for despite my heritage, I do wallow in self pity sometimes. I need to nip it in the bud before I become a big dead old branch with no good fruit that the Lord needs to cut off and throw in the fire.


Anonymous said...

p.s. good old Flylady!

Happymama said...

Rhonda, Good post! I think we all have someone in our lives like the ones you mentioned. Have you ever tried just telling them what you told us here? Sounds good to me! Our Pastor has a lot to say on this very subject. LOL

Happymama said...

Rhonda, Good post! I think we all have someone in our lives like the ones you mentioned. Have you ever tried just telling them what you told us here? Sounds good to me! Our Pastor has a lot to say on this very subject. LOL

Rhonda said...

Hello Everybody! Mrs.B, Tori, Michelle, Mrs.Blythe, Kristi,
Looks like we all have a few complainers inour lives! I guess God sent them to teach me to keep my big mouth shut, too. Who knows? Maybe I'm a complainer, and don't even know it! I hope not, I don't like complainers!

Blessings and Joy,

Bethanie said...

My in-laws are like that. More towards my husband than me.
Who is this flylady that everyone always talks about?

Rhonda said...

My dear Bethanie,
Flylady is our online housekeeping mentor. You can find her at Flylady.net
Her services and advice are free, so stop by!


kellygirl said...

It really is so easy for some to get sucked into the 'abyss of complaining'...hey isn't that a Veggie Tale's video or maybe it is 3-2-1 Penguins? To express ones frustrations or struggles is ok but to not seek and accept the help of others isn't good. Once you've helped someone I guess you have to have wisdom as to how to let them 'off the hook' so to speak and to not let them, let you feed their whine.

Rhonda said...

Hi Kellygirl! Bienvenida!
We'll have to get that 321 Penguin video. I love Big Idea productions. Yes, I admit it, I love Veggietales!

Now if I can just get a 321 penguin video in Spanish.......


Happymama said...

Something kellygirl said reminded me of something hubby says to the kids when they are complaining, which thankfully is not often. He'll say, "Would you like some cheese to go with that whine?" LOL Of course in NO WAY is he promoting WINE, it's just a play on words....In case anyone here might be offended. LOL Which I hope they wouldn't be....Sorry if they are, Rhonda. LOL I'll hush now....I'm on my way back to my own world. :)