Monday, August 07, 2006
Happy Anniversary, Sweetie!
Yep, today is our 13th anniversary, thank you very much. Hubby is off at a Chilean version of a wake. That means he is over at one of our member's house where they are sitting around his dead father, who'll be buried tomorrow. Romantic, isn't it?
So, after 13 years years of wedded bliss, what sage advice can I offer to the young brides?
After all the usual advice, the first being keep a good relationship with Jesus, the rest being all those you hear and read all the time, here's what I have to offer.
Change your expectations. Get rid of them or lower them.
I can't speak for all guys, or even most guys, just my guy. And my guy had no clue about what I expected. My guy doesn't watch "chick flicks", so he doesn't know what we gals think is romantic. What's worse, even if he did know what I thought was romantic, he probably wouldn't do it anyway. He has a wee bit of a stubborn streak, and doesn't like to be told how to be romantic. He doesn't like to be prodded to give compliments. He boycotts Valentine's Day. See what I mean? I have two choices here. I can be dissapointed in him for being soooooo unromantic. Or I can change my expectations.
Since I have changed my thinking, (thank you, Debi) I can more clearly see just how he shows he loves me and cares for me. You know that book about the languages of love? I already told you a while back that I didn't like it, but I'll do more than that. Rather than me trying to get him to speak my language, which so far has brought me only grief, I need to learn to hear his language toward me, which has brought me great joy.
My husband is:
A growing child of God
A hard worker and good provider
A loving father
A loyal friend
a dedicated and caring pastor
Someone who loves me very much
Before, I was too "hurt" by the lack of "romantic gestures" to see the value of what he really is.
Not even God will fulfill all your expectations. He will do what He says He will, not what you think you need.