Monday, August 21, 2006

What do you say?

When I blog, I know what I want to say. I say what I want to say, after all, its my blog. If I visit another blog and read a post a totally disagree with, there is really no problem, I just leave and come back later. I never leave comments unless they are positive. But, what do you do when you are with people and they say something that you think is completely wrong and harmful and off-the-wall? I am not talking about unsaved people, I'm talking about other Christians. If you disagree, you come off as judgemental and haughty. If you say nothing, they assume you agree. And inside, I was appalled!!! I kept thinking, "I can't believe she said that, and that no one seemed to be shocked in the least!"

What do you say to people who infer that when you get older, things that mattered to you will no longer matter? If they are not going to matter in 20 years, then why bother with them now?

I am I that shallow and superficial? Do I make mountains out of molehills? I don't think so, I think I have well-thought-out, Biblical convictions, but I still don't know how to respond. My first reaction is to get away and stay away, but I don't think that's the best, just the most comfortable. Most people who don't have convictions aren't interested inhearing about them anyway.

So how do you graciously disagree so as to not seem judgemental and holier-than-thou?



Mrs.B. said...

That's a hard question Rhonda! I can't wait to see what others say about this!

Anonymous said...

Oh man, I worry about what I have written so much that my head nearly explodes. I totally can't cope with negative comments, lol. It's a very bad personality trait. But, having said that, I do need to hear if I have said something wrong - we are told to exhort each other. Maybe you could email them so that it isn't as public. And if it was one of my posts, do be gentle (lol) 'cos I don't ever mean to be naughty in what I write, just as a non-perfect person I will definitely get many things wrong in my journey through life.

In regard to what you said about a post suggesting things not mattering as much as you get older - I think it is the opposite. The older you get, the nearer to judgement you are and the less time you have to fit in work for the Lord. Our Pastor always says he wants to do more next year than he did this year and the year after that he wants to double again, and so on.

Hope this garbled comment makes sense, blessings.

Bethanie said...

I disagree with my mother alot. She has become very liberal and carismatic. However, I don't tell her that I disagree with her unless she were to ask me if I did which she never has. The reason I don't offer my opinion is because I believe disagreeing with her would only cause any arguement that would then lead to me disrespecting her. She is my elder and I keep my mouth shut. If she ever did ask if I agree with her (which I very much doubt she ever will) I would politly tell her no and try and change the subject.
As for disagreeing with my peers it would depend on the subject.
I think the best advise I can give is pick your battles.

Happymama said...

When Christ was in the wilderness, he only answered with SCRIPTURE. When he was asked a question about something He would always say, "Verily, verily, I SAY UNTO YOU..."

Get my drift?? LOL :)


Anonymous said...

I agree with Sis. Kristi. I will comment on someone's site that has posted something that I disagree with...but only if I feel the Lord is prompting me to. If I do it in the flesh then it will come across wrong. If I do it with the Holy Spirit speaking through me then it will be Scripture and will be done as to not come across as "holier than thou". There have been times that I haven't commented on posts that I disagree with...but it hasn't been so as to say that I was just that I didn't feel compelled to comment. I feel the Lord will lead us to leave a comment so as to help someone...He wouldn't lead us to leave a comment so as to hurt anyone. I hope I got my point across as I wanted to. This is how I handle those kind of posts.

Michelle said...

Hmmm . . . what would I do? If it is something you can't agree with and you have biblical standpoint . . point out the standpoint gently, respectfully. I agree, you do need to pick your battles.
If someone told me that in 20 years the things that mattered now won't matter then . . .well, what kind of things were they talking about? That would make a difference, but still I would have to consider that if they are 20 years ahead of me, they are speaking from experience. If not, then we both don't know for sure, now do we? In that case just say "Hmmm, you think?" (something I taught my hubby to say to me when he didn't agree with my venting, but it didn't matter)

I once got it from a mother of a horrid/brat/child when she got on my case after I followed through with some consequences. I was single at the time. She said that I couldn't know since I didn't have any kids, but "vas a ver, vas a ver"
I rebuked that then, I rebuke it now. So far so good (praise God), but the thing is often our own experiences will seem to be the blanket for all, perhaps to these that say thing that matter now won't later are experencing that . . .but it 'tant necessarily so, and doesn't have to be so. Not if it matters to you! ;-)