I love books. I've read as many as possible. And since before I was married , I read as many books on the subject as I could. Truth be told, almost 13 years after Neil and I married, I am not too fond of marriage books. Even good, Biblical ones. Here's why:
Most marriage books are written for the couple. That means the both of you have to want to read the same book. You have to discuss the book. You have to be on the same wave length about what is good or not so good about your marriage. But in my observations on marriages, mine and other's, rarely are the couples thinking the same things at the same time. If they were, they wouldn't need a marriage book!
Here's the biggest problem for me. When I read in a book that "she needs to do this, and he needs to do that", that's great, except for the fact that I'm the only one reading the book. I say I'll do my part, but then I begin to resent that fact that I'm trying to make things better, and he doesn't even seem to care. I feel alone in my desire maintain a good marriage. This is definitely Stinkin' Thinkin'. I get all worked up at what he isn't doing or thinking or saying, and he has no clue why I'm upset! That is totally unfair to the men.
Now, this is also why I like Created to be his Help Meet and The Power of a Praying Wife. They tell us what a woman can do on her own, to improve or repair a marriage. Stormie Omartian is a blessing to me. She carefully tells her story, without disrespecting her husband. And yet manages to share her struggles with a difficult man. She knows how to make a marriage better, even if the efforts are one-sided. Especially if the efforts are one-sided. Remember, God loved us even though we were his enemies.
If you have a favorite marriage book, let me know!
4 months ago