Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Another horror story

It seems that everyone who comes to our Church has their own personal horror story.
I could tell you several, but that would only serve to break your heart and give you a sour stomach all day.

But continuing my previous post, I will share Case Number Three. This lady has been supporting her lazy husband for the past 19 years. He is an unreasonable, "dense" man. They have four beautiful children. The wife is my right-hand gal at church, their son is my husbands right-hand guy. Their middle daughter is one of Eileen's best friends. After this lady got saved last year, she quickly caught on to the fact that her family wasn't functioning properly because she had taken control. She eased out of her job and is learning to let go of control.

Her husband is still hateful and unreasonable. Still occasionally threatens her life. Still stays out all night every once in a while. But her attitude is incredible. She says very little about her suffering, and I know she is suffering. Her kids are not as quiet about it as she is. She tells me privately that she is praying for a miracle, and she will trust the Lord to protect her. While they have very little money, she is thrilled to be a SAHM and raise her little ones instead of kicking the husband out (deservedly) and going to work herself.

Does God condone violence? No. Does he condone divorce? He desires families to stay together.
What does He want us to do? I'm not sure, but I'm leaning toward trusting God to perform a miracle inspite of horrible circumstances, crying out to God for protection and deliverance.



Mrs.B. said...

She sounds like an amazing lady! It would take so much trust in the Lord to be willing to possibly lose your house or whatever.

You know though I do believe that hard as it would be that that is the correct thing to do. Otherwise she's just enabling him to continue his laziness.

Wow, you ladies on the mission field.....God bless you all! (o:

Anonymous said...

You know what I tell those who say they just can't forgive or get past being hurt....I tell them that God's grace is sufficient. I know first hand. My husband had left me in June of 1994...he left me for someone else...I got saved during that whole ordeal. And God gave me grace!!! He gave me grace to go on with my three kids alone while he was gone with what looked like no hope in him coming home. He then gave me grace to accept him back in spite of what he had done to me. And He also gave me grace to forgive my husband for what he had done. Could I have done it all on my own? That I don't know...but I highly doubt it. Things can get dark and look impossible...but I serve a mighty God who specializes in miracles. His Word is filled with miracles that took place. So when I hear stories from people who say they just can't handle it anymore...I tell them they are trusting in the wrong person. When we trust in the "I" of the storm there is no peace and comfort to make it through. But when we trust in the God of the storm we can make it through and be the better as a result of it. Good post Sis. I don't like sharing what happened when my husband and I were separated because it sheds a bad light on my husband...but it also speaks of the miracle working power of my Savior to heal hearts, families and homes!! And to think that God would use my husband as a preacher of the gospel in spite of what took place during that time in his life is the most wonderful miracle of all...next to saving my unworthy and wretched soul that is!!

Arlene said...

Wow... I think I am at a loss of what to say now. I agree that most times separation is not the answer, hard as it is to say such a thing, and hard as it would be to endure such a situation. As Julie mentioned, God's grace IS sufficient... Thanks for sharing your testimony, Julie. And thank you, Rhonda, for having the courage to post about such a controversial topic. :)

Anonymous said...

This is always a hard one Rhonda. The only answer is love and understanding for the whole of the law can be summed up by one command "love your neighbour as yourself" as Paul said. I would hope that if I was ever in this situation that whether I was able to stay or not that my church would care for my family. I hope that I would be strong in the Lord and trust Him for safety, but unless you have been in that situation, then it is very easy to tell someone what to do.

I realise we should trust God. But do we always trust God? Why do Christian countries go to war? Can we not trust God for our safety, that He will avenge those who are persecuted? If we do not trust God with our countries and we go to war against our enemies and fight (despite Jesus' command to love our enemies), how do we say to an abused wife "you must trust God for your safety, don't run away and don't fight back"? Just a thought.

If a person is in danger in a marriage and yet truly trusts God for their safety and the safety of their children then their faith will be rewarded. However, I would not advise someone who did not have this faith to remain in a marriage which was abusive. If a dear sister had left her husband because of abuse I would support her and pray for her and her husband, whether I agreed with her decision or not. If a dear sister asked for advice I would not bombard her with reasons why she shouldn't leave her husband, I would pray and find where she is with God. We would read the relevant scriptures together. If she felt secure under God's protective wing then I would support her decision to stay, but if she really felt she could not tolerate it I would not force her to stay.

I believe to tell someone what they should and shouldn't do could be dangerous. What we should do is lay it before God together and then in love support the family in the decision that is made (and I include the husband in this too).

I agree divorce is not allowed, except in the case of marital unfaithfulness because the convenant has been broken. The partner who did not commit the marital unfaithfulness who divorces and remarries will not be guilty of adultery. The partner who did commit the marital unfaithfulness and remarries is an adulterer.

This is my gut reaction Rhonda, I pray that these couples and their children will truly find Jesus in their situation and lay it all before Him who can change lives permanently.

Blessings. Sarah

Michelle said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Michelle said...

Hello Rhonda,

It's been a while since I could sit down with a cup of coffee and mull over your blog. I'm glad I can today, GOOD STUFF!

My previous comment I deleted because it was getting SO LONG! I just posted my responce on my blog.

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