Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Its been almost 13 years!

So many of you BlogGals seem blessed with absolutely perfect husbands. I am so glad for you! But maybe there are a few of you out there who can benefit from my mistakes and shortcomings in the marriage department. There was no way for me to have a perfect husband, because I was not a perfect wife. I’m still not perfect, in fact far from it, but we’ve come a long way. Now, my husband has always had the most admirable qualities I could ever hope for. He is trustworthy and hardworking. He is in the Lord’s service. Once I gave up my desire to change him, the Lord is maturing him into a wonderful husband. So for the next month leading up to our 13th anniversary, I will share what I have learned.

Before you marry someone, ask yourself this question. If he never changes, can I live with that?
I was definitely a member of the “home improvement committee” and by “home” I meant “him” Since I had been a Christian for almost two decades, and he had only been saved for two years, more or less, I figured that he could learn a lot from me. He could have too, but that was not God’s plan. Help meet does not mean teacher. Holy Spirit is Teacher, and I was trying to take over for Him!

Do you know why I did this? I think it was pride. I didn’t want others to think I had married “beneath” myself, spiritually. I considered myself more spiritual than he, although he was on the fast track. It was not until I read Created to be his Help meet that I realized that my ideas for his spirituality may not have been God’s.

What I know for certain is that my methods to make him more “spiritual” were unfruitful because they were meant to impress others and not God.

Thank you God, because you worked in me.


Shereen said...

Hi there. Thank you for visiting me at my blog. All the comments are receive are such a blessing. Thank you so much for that question you posted on your blog. My beloved and I meet so many young people, and they think that they can change their future spouse. That is one question I will remember to pose to them. Can they live with that person for the rest of their lives, the way he/she is right now. Thank you so much for this post. Created to be his helpmeet is also a great book. I think I will read it again. ;0)

Happymama said...

Here, here, Rhonda. You described me as you spoke of yourself. I was raised in a very faithful, God centered IFB family. Our whole life was centered around God and doing His work. Hubby was brought up in the exact opposite kind of family. I trusted God enough to marry Bruce in hopes that "I" could teach him what he needed to know as a Christian husband and father. But I soon learned that God is the Master Teacher and I had a lot to learn about being the quiet, submissive wife and letting God do the work in hubby. I am glad to say that He has made Bruce one of the most amazing Christian men I know. And he has way more insight on the Bible than I have and I grew up submerged in it. Bruce and I both have MUCH to learn, but I'm so glad we're learning together.


Tori said...

Amen, Amen and Amen! *Ü*
That was a great post, I'm sure many a lady will benefit from it.
I don't have that problem, for one, DH is much more spiritual than I am and for two we were both heathens when we married 15 years ago. *Ü*
Isn't God so good to give us good husbands and then teach us how to be good wives???
Great post. *Ü*

Terri said...

Wonderful post, Rhonda! I am always touched when someone reveals their struggles and weaknesses in order to encourage and build up fellow believers. I thank God for women such as yourself!

Rhonda said...

Thank you all, Ladies!
I find instruction easier to follow when I know that I'm not the only one with a particular problem.
Blessings and Joy,

Anonymous said...

It is a hard lesson to learn that one cannot change a person for good outside of God's will for them. My hubby is just lovely, always has been, always will be :o)

Rhonda said...

You are blessed! So am I, it just took me longer to realize it!

Anonymous said...

My husband and I have had our share of struggles with getting used to one another. Yes...after 20 yrs. of marriage we are still getting used to one another. As we get older we have separate issues we have to deal with on a personal basis...and in turn it causes our spouse to have to deal with it as well. Thank God I have a patient and loving husband. I have to pray for patience on my part. I'm not a very patient person and probably never will be.